- me at home: i've been wearing the same jeans and band shirt for the last three weeks but it still smells alright so i'll keep wearing it
- me going away: I NEED ONE SHIRT FOR EACH DAY AND EXTRA IN CASE IT GETS DIRTY AND THE SAME AMOUNT OF JEANS AND SOCKS ACTUALLY NO I'LL NEED EXTRA SOCKS IN CASE IT FLOODS AND DOUBLE THE UNDERWEAR IN CASE OF DISASTER AND ONE NICE OUTFIT IN CASE I GET INVITED TO TEA WITH THE QUEEN
- baby: d-d-d..
- dad: daddy? are you trying to say daddy?
- baby: D I C K S Q U A D
My brother says “shit happens” in response to everything
My brother was given a “shit happens” mug because of this
My brother loved his “shit happens” mug like a child
Last week, my brother dropped his “shit happens” mug
You probably know what his reaction was